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While reading an Ann Rinaldi book, at the tender age of 16 or so, I took note that the main character's sister was distressed to be 19 going on 20 in 1861 and, therefore, in great need to find a husband. By war's end, she was 24 and engaged to be married; narrowly missing the stigma of being an "Old Maid." The ages stuck with me through the years, so I am pleased to announce that, this week, I turned 24, am engaged to be married, and not an Old Maid by the 19th century's standards!
Now, first off, I'd just like to say if you are unmarried and over 24 that's fine by today's standards. Heck, if don't get married at all that won't make you an Old Maid today. Just in case you are feeling bummed about being an Old Maid according to the 19th century standards, keep in mind you can still celebrate Old Maid's Day.
Okay, so on to some information about Old Maids. The origins of the expression are debatable, as are the definitions (from long ago and today). So what can we nail down about Old Maids? Well, first, we must acknowledge the literal definition of an Old Maid. "Old" is rather up to an individual. For Pete's sake, when you are five, you think 16 year olds are plenty old enough for marriage, of course, Disney does not help with that. "Maid," however, is derived from the word "maiden." Although, today, the definition is considered archaic, a maiden is a virgin.
I'm sure you have heard of Maid Marian from the Robin Hood legends. In many variations, Robin and Marian cannot get married because they need the consent from the king (Richard? Held for ransom during the Crusades?). If I were to get into the why of all that, I'd need to write a separate blog. Comment below if you'd like that, otherwise, you're on your own. Anyhoo, she's known as Maid Marian because she and Robin could not get married and, thus, could not consummate.
Which leads me to point two, when being an Old Maid was an issue worth worrying about, sex without being married was simply unheard of. Therefore, and Old Maid today, could simply be any woman who was/is a virgin at at time deemed by herself/peers/society when she should no longer be. Some women are in their late teens when they feel they have been a virgin too long, others in their forties, others still older. Essentially, if a woman had starred in Steve Carell's hit movie, "The 40-year-old Virgin" it could have been titled, "The 40-year-Old Maid."
So, if you are an open-minded person, you might be wondering, "Wait a minute. So an Old Maid is an unmarried virgin? That seems rather harsh." If so, congratulations, you are living in the 21st century. When becoming an Old Maid was a legitimate fear for a young woman, it was when women were unable to join the workforce and provide for themselves. It was back when a woman needed to land herself a husband if she expected to survive and be a member of society. Today, a woman can freely make the choice to marry, to have sex, and to support herself. A woman's situation in life is no longer dictated or determined by her marital status.
The good new is, in today's day and age, you really aren't an Old Maid until you consider yourself one. The bad news is, you might be a spinster, but that's a history for another day.
Now, first off, I'd just like to say if you are unmarried and over 24 that's fine by today's standards. Heck, if don't get married at all that won't make you an Old Maid today. Just in case you are feeling bummed about being an Old Maid according to the 19th century standards, keep in mind you can still celebrate Old Maid's Day.
Okay, so on to some information about Old Maids. The origins of the expression are debatable, as are the definitions (from long ago and today). So what can we nail down about Old Maids? Well, first, we must acknowledge the literal definition of an Old Maid. "Old" is rather up to an individual. For Pete's sake, when you are five, you think 16 year olds are plenty old enough for marriage, of course, Disney does not help with that. "Maid," however, is derived from the word "maiden." Although, today, the definition is considered archaic, a maiden is a virgin.
I'm sure you have heard of Maid Marian from the Robin Hood legends. In many variations, Robin and Marian cannot get married because they need the consent from the king (Richard? Held for ransom during the Crusades?). If I were to get into the why of all that, I'd need to write a separate blog. Comment below if you'd like that, otherwise, you're on your own. Anyhoo, she's known as Maid Marian because she and Robin could not get married and, thus, could not consummate.
Which leads me to point two, when being an Old Maid was an issue worth worrying about, sex without being married was simply unheard of. Therefore, and Old Maid today, could simply be any woman who was/is a virgin at at time deemed by herself/peers/society when she should no longer be. Some women are in their late teens when they feel they have been a virgin too long, others in their forties, others still older. Essentially, if a woman had starred in Steve Carell's hit movie, "The 40-year-old Virgin" it could have been titled, "The 40-year-Old Maid."
So, if you are an open-minded person, you might be wondering, "Wait a minute. So an Old Maid is an unmarried virgin? That seems rather harsh." If so, congratulations, you are living in the 21st century. When becoming an Old Maid was a legitimate fear for a young woman, it was when women were unable to join the workforce and provide for themselves. It was back when a woman needed to land herself a husband if she expected to survive and be a member of society. Today, a woman can freely make the choice to marry, to have sex, and to support herself. A woman's situation in life is no longer dictated or determined by her marital status.
The good new is, in today's day and age, you really aren't an Old Maid until you consider yourself one. The bad news is, you might be a spinster, but that's a history for another day.
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